...Maria came from Nashville with a suitcase in her hand, she said she'd like to meet a boy who looks like Elvis. She walks along the edge of where the ocean meets the land just like she's
walking on a wire in the circus...
The days are getting better. I was a little out of it at work and my boss caught me dazing off. She asked me to do something and came back a few minutes later to see if I had done and I was just sort of staring at Facebook when she came back. I felt schmuck-y. Then I felt guilty and like I was a bad employee. I hate that shit. Ive had a series of sad freaking songs playing in my mind all day. It seems like Im always on the verge of tears but I never actually cry or anything. I feel my eyes filling up, and the tears are right there. One blink and they will come falling. But somehow I stop it. Which is good because I seriously hate crying.
Other than that- I didnt get to the gym today. April couldnt go because she hurt her back. I just feel like I can't get started.
Or maybe I just dont want to get started because I'm afraid of failing.
Bobby had a Halloween thingy to go to tonight and I couldnt go because I dont like to go out when the baby is home. Between getting her fed, bathed, homework done, bedtime and all that jazz, I'm lucky to have time to be sitting here writing this dribble. However, I do miss Bobby when he's is out. I feel like we havent talked all week even though I know we have. I dont know. This week is dragging. I spent the whole day believing it was Thursday and telling customers that called in that if they wanted their order for the weekend that I would have to overnight it on Friday for delivery on Saturday morning. Which is like super expensive. I had to call back 2 people after I relized what day of the week it was. I just can't get my head on straight this week.
OH, and a friend of mine brought her son to work today and I held him. Cutest smile ever. There is something about being around a baby, and a baby smell that just makes me happy. And holding him just makes it even more awesome. Plus he's a doll face. It definitely put me in a good mood today.
High points:
- Carly
- Bobby
- Jenn and Dan coming out a few weeks ago. (Haven't seen her in a few years!)
- Laying in bed listening to my iPod.
- The Crumbiest Playlist ever
- Being a 'thinker' - even though it drives me nuts
- Carly 'remembering' Sam. The Play-Doh Scarecrow that she asked me to make the other night when Bobby was here. (See pic, we will never forget you, Sam...)
- Talking to my grandparents, and my Pop telling me that he loves me too instead of 'same here' which is what he usually says.
- Fried potatoes. But I hate food.
- Making dinner for Carly & Abby
- Feeling somewhat inspired.
- Seeing and then holding Alex.
Theres more. Theres always more. I need to get back into the swing of writing a blog. I miss writing on myspace, man. I hardly log in there but I have so many blogs there. I wish I could export them here. Plus I think I had more of a following there.
:::sigh:::
I have a couple songs for you tonight. I enjoy them, maybe you will too.
I wanted the 'Dire Straits' version of this song, but I couldnt find a good version of it on youtube. I did stumble upon this though, and I must say that I am pleasantly surprised.
And I guess that's a wrap. There will be a tomorrow night. And I may just write again. I feel better when I do.
In the meantime, 2 more days and it will be 3 years. I'm sure that I am just dreading the days leading up to this more than I am dreading the actual day. Or maybe I'm just telling myself that.
...She parks her car outside of my house and takes her clothes off. Says she's close to understanding Jesus. She knows she's more than just a little misunderstood, she has trouble acting normal when she's nervous.
Round here we're carving out our names. Round here we all look the same. Round here we talk just like lions, but we sacrifice like lambs. Round here she's slipping through my hands...
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